what ever

i dunno if anyone will read this... i'm not sure it matters, really... i feel horrible rightnow i wish i could cry, but i can't... my insides are choking me, in the emotional sense of the word. i'm just so tired of everything... i constantly worry about my friends it is even worse over those i call family my body hurt everywhere and i'm gaining weight and i have to work, study the stable, my apartment, my cats... i feel like dying could be a good option... but it isn't and i'm still optionless so i chose to share it with the world... but right now... i can't sleep but i'm dead tired, and i wish above all else to have someone to hold me let me sleep in their arms and kiss my tears away.... i wish i could cry... i think i'm gonna have another emotional breakdown, second in less than a week... help me? save me? love me? i don't know but please please make this go away...